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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Skandals....

Hari ni aku sibuk sbnrnya...Pening kepala nak go thru agreement kat ofis ni ha...so, aku amik kesempatan utk tulis psl apa yg sedang berlaku kat ofis ni...mak abah aku mmg cukup tak suka kalau aku involve dgn suami org...aku pun pelik, kenapala dlm byk2 lelaki yg aku jmpa dan aku kenal, aku rase suami org adalah yg terbaik sekali...diaorg ni gorgeous, gentle sgt dan yg plg pntg sgt memahami kehendak org perempuan...adakah kerana mereka ni sume suami org...???? blh jadi jugak, pengalaman diaorg deal dgn isteri diaorg menjadikan diaorg seorang yg perfect dan very actractive...This is definitely crazy...Seperti apa yg sume sedia maklum, percintaan dgn suami org ni mmg takkan ke mana...At the end of the day, yg akan suffer adalah perempuan tu jugak memandangkan bile break off, yg lelaki masih ada isteri dan anak2, tp yg perempuan tu akan tinggal sorg...Aku pernah putus cinta, masa dgn boyfren pertama tak rasa apepun...steady jek...dlm kepala aku masa tu, ko taknak, aku pun tak hingin...

tp, biler putus cinta dgn boyfren yg kedua, mmg suffer sgt2 sbb yg dia ni aku syg btl2 kat dia...sygnya jodoh aku dgn dia tak kuat...kami putus dan smpi skrg masih contact...dah setahun aku takde boyfren, tau2 aku dah jmpa dgn sorg lelaki yg aku rasa cukup perfect...ade degree ACCA, stylo, gentle, not stingy n charming...tp sygnya, dia suami org....aku sedar mcm mana pun suka aku kat dia, mcm mana suka pun dia kat aku, one day we still have to end up everything...since i'm lonely, i have decided to accept his proposal...everything is for the sake of enjoyment...tp, makin lama aku rasa situation is getting critical when i realized that i have started to like him n miss him...what to do...aku salahkan diri sendiri sbb pttnya aku berfikiran rasional...sepatutnya aku reject jek proposal dia...tp, dah byk kali aku reject but he keeps on chasing me...working under one roof make me difficult to escape from him...

now, i am in the procees of preparing myself so that i will become stronger and i can leave him before he leave me...apa yg aku dapati berdasarkan pengalaman, sakit n perit ditinggalkan lagi dasyat dari meninggalkan...so, apa2 pun aku yg kena blah dulu cepat2...takde sape pun kat ofis ni yg tau psl skandal giler ni...aku kuar dgn dia pun selalunyer lepas ofis hour...tu pun kena jaga2 sbb takut kantoi dgn officemate yg lain...huh, sengal btol...sume kena sorok2...kelakar pun ada...yg plg best n giler, aku pernah jmpa dgn his wife during open house kat shah alam last week...yg bestnyer, masing2 punyerla profesional as if nothing happen between us...his wife is a very nice lady...his sons n daughter pun, baik sgt2...aku rase bersalah sbnrnya but i really need time to leave him....

kesilapan yg plg besar aku pernah buat adalah when i accepted his proposal easily...sepatutnya i have to think properly...but i did think properly before...i did tell him that i dont want to be his girlfren because of his status as a married man...tp, lama2 aku blh terinfluence jugak...aku pun tak fhm...biler umur dah meningkat 26 ni, aku still tak terfikir psl nak kawin ker, nak bertunang ker aper ker...yg aku tau, aku nak keje, then aku dah plan nak amik anak angkat if let say aku tak kawin2 jugak biler dah umo 30 nnt...sedihla...